Soft Rock, cocaine and paranoia : a mixtape by theofflinepeople.blogspot.com

‘Oh come on, let me get out.’ I could hear her pushing against the door. ‘That’s fine now, it was funny for a while.’ I tried the handle again but she was still holding it up. ‘Come on. I promise I won’t be pissed off. Come on, Jen.’
‘I don’t believe you.’
I gripped the handle with both my hands and used all my weight to rest on it but she was holding strong.
‘You see! You’re trying to hurt me!!’
‘I wouldn’t if you’d bloody let me out!’
‘You’re shouting!!’
‘Of course I’m shouting. You won’t let me out of the fucking bathroom.’ I kicked the door in a rage. I climbed on the sink and pressed the handle with my foot. I have no idea how she was still holding it up. I stamped on it a few times. I could hear her wince.
‘You pig!’ She was shifting her feet on the wooden floor, trying to resist. ‘You disgust me.’
‘Come on Jen. Let me out and we can talk.’
‘You don’t know how to talk. You’re a coward!’

I stamped hard on the handle. One more time. And again. I tried a final push and moved all my body forward. She howled, the sound a bitch makes when someone’s walked on her tail. I lost my balance. My face hit the wall. I heard some quick steps and the door of the hallway being slammed. I picked up a towel and wrapped it just below my eyes to cover my nose – if I ever needed something in my life it was to own a straight nostril. My mouth tasted like tin. I ripped the door open and run down the stairs. ‘JEN! JEN!! COME HERE!’

*

She took one of my chips and threw it on the edge of the jetty. A large seagull came circling above us. She was looking at it, trying to imitate its sound. Her hair was floating in the wind, getting stuck to the tape on my face. The seagull crossed the sun, spread its wings, and suddenly plunged in our direction. Jen stood up and ran to the other side of the jetty. I just had time to roll backwards and cover my face with my arms. I could feel the damn bird pulling strips of fabric out of my shirt. Jen was laughing and screaming in excitement. I punched the air unconvincingly, keeping my eyes on the long beak. I shuffled my feet in an attempt to get away. I could see a heap of rubbish drifting on the surface of the ocean. Jen ran back towards me, stomping the ground, shouting on top of her lungs ‘YA-YAYA-YA-YAK-YAK!!’ and scared the bird away. She was still laughing when she sat down and gave me a wet kiss on the cheek.

‘You’re such a big baby’.
‘Don’t!’
‘Oh, come on big baby!’ and tickled my ribs under my shirt.


Achylles Brown

Soft rock cocaine and paranoia by the-offline-people10

01 Rainy Day - I'll Keep It With Mine
02 Sharon Marie - Summertime
03 David Crosby - I'd Swear There Was Somebody Here
04 Randy Newman - Burn On
05 James Taylor - Machine Gun Kelly
06 The Long Ryders - Final Wild Son
07 David Crosby - Orleans
08 Fleetwood Mac - Gold Dust Woman
09 Harry Nilsson & John Lennon - The flying saucer song
10 Todd Rundgren - Good Vibrations
11 Todd Rundgren - There are no words
12 Randy Newman - Suzanne